I don't know how I forget to tell you how beautiful you are everyday, when your beauty is constantly staring me in my face, my mouth should fluidly spill your praises of beauty. For all the times I neglected to tell you how beautiful you are, I apologize. I don't know what I would do without your smile, your lips, your eyes, the varying shades of your ebony skin, my world would be incomplete without your soft skin to touch. You are beyond amazing in so many ways, sometimes I slip between the cracks of your smile and wonder how; through all you have been through your radiance still shines. You are the essence of what is great in my world.
I don't know how I let the media get a hold of my beautiful Black Queen and degrade her in ways that made her begin to feel that it was alright. I am sorry you have endured such manipulation of your self worth. I am the one who was supposed to protect you from the hurt and the pain, yet fed into these images, my mind became warped also, I apologize. I don't know if you will ever be able to forgive me, for I have left you many times bearing our children alone or leaving you to defend against the world, I am sorry. I could blame it on a lot of things, but I know it was wrong and I am here to offer my most sincere apology to you.
Your name is stitched in my backbone, for your strength is something I never had on my own. You straighten me up, you straighten me out, you bring the best out of me for all the right reasons and I love you for that. Sometimes my ego may interfere with my ability to admit my emotions and sing you your praises, but I would resurrect Lenny Williams, just so he could sing to you as you rose every morning, Cause I Love You! I love you beyond the anger that has been instilled in my heart and if you listen carefully I am trying to speak the language in which you need to hear. This translation of love has been difficult, but I work at it everyday. And yes, you are right, the universal actions of love don't need to be spoken, let me get that for you.
I am sure there have been many times when I have come close to destroying you, but I know you still have a heart. Can I hold your heart? I promise not to hurt it again, I just want to hold the weight of the world and see how it feels. I want to repair a few broken pieces I know I may have caused. I figure if I kiss your heart you would feel my love faster and truly feel how sorry I am, for ever hurting you. I don't know how many other ways I can tell you I am sorry, but rest assure, I will not give up trying. I am not sure how many languages I can say I love you, but rest assure, I am not done learning.
Your gentleness caressed me in the womb and even when I am not around you, I can feel your love, momma thank you. You loved me before I knew what love was, girlfriend thank you. You believed in me past all my faults and shortcomings, grandma thank you. You changed the definition of a boy to a man years after I reached adulthood, wife thank you. You have birthed my children, mother to my child thank you. You put up with me when everyone wanted to give up on me, sister thank you. Your support changed my life, auntie thank you. Your distance and loving favor keeps me guided, cousin thank you. It is is every capacity that I need you! It is in every capacity that I love you!
Without You I Am Nothing,
The Black Man
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